Pervez

Dear GPM,

You are a Total Badass, right?

Then why are you allowing yourself to "go grey" in such an unfortunate fashion? In this photo it looks as though you have actually placed a hairpiece of especially false proportions on top of your authentically withering hair. And then not even thought to make sure that all contrasting fuzz has be concealed! That's not even hardcore.

Even if your appearance here is merely the circumstance of an unfortunate camera angle you are not exactly in the position to be letting your guard down. Are you? This is not the hairstyle of a future dictator. Honestly, you almost resemble Monchichi. And everyone knows Monchichi was a thumb sucker.

I suggest shaving your head. It is the one true signifier of a Badass coming into his/her own.

Case in point, Natalie Portman:

Here, she looks like she is merely contemplating giving you a fierce beat down. Calculating? Perhaps. At most, though, she is probably only willing to go so far as to "vibe" the hell out of you.

However, here it looks as though she has every intention of destroying you... that she has no other choice because that is Just... What... She... Does. Unmitigated beat downs are her "thing." See those dead eyes? So calm. So peace filled. So awesome. You know, kicking ass leaves her entirely untraumatized and not the least bit dehydrated.

So, fucking DO IT, Perv. Get rid of that ridiculous hairdon't. (or the person who took/published that photo) You could be, like, Dictator King Pervez Musharraf. Awesome.

Sincerely,
The Aftermath Kitchen.